I feel like Freddie Mercury sometimes.

This is the beginning of a great post...

JUST KIDDING.

Or am I?

Well, you decide.

I love dancing out of nowhere. Is that weird? Or do you do that too? I like to imagine myself confident and sexy. When I say that I mean an innocent kind of sexy. I’m bashful most times. I’m a real hip shaker. I twirl enough to make myself dizzy. There’s this song I can’t get enough of. If you can find it in yourself to trust my taste in music, listen to it.

Victim of Love by Charles Bradley

My hips sway and my shoulders do a little shimmy.

A lot of the times I wish I could allow myself to be seen entirely and unconditionally, but I retract. Different people have seen various parts of me, but never the whole. It’s difficult. I find. To give myself to people. I’m afraid. What if they don’t understand? What if they don’t want that part of me? I know I shouldn’t be afraid to dance in front of you, but I am. I am terrified of the thoughts you may have.

Has she done this before?

Did someone teach her to move like that?

Are my eyes the first?

Is she not as innocent as claims to be?

Nobody knows how ashamed of myself I am sometimes. Not because of what I do, but because of the reactions I receive. I cannot be myself without people twisting my intentions.

I move.

I throw that ass in a x^2 + y^2 = 25.

Never mind.

You probably don’t get that joke or just have the thought of my bum on your mind.

How sad.

See why I never totally reveal myself?

I’m clean. I’m pure. But you taint that. In my world, I do things for myself. I try to find myself. About 100% of the time I wish I was invisible. I wish people didn’t have to see me a certain way when I wore this or that or when I moved this way or that way. I draw attention. People gravitate towards me. But I don’t want that. I just want to be me. With nobody else involved. I just want to be free.

I‘m so misunderstood.

-A.G.