I speak about love a lot because there is too much inside me

You must not understand the way I love. A lot of people will never know or comprehend that I love unconditionally. Even when someone has broken me to bits and pieces, I cannot let them sink in their sorrows. How, do you ask? How can I save someone who has only stepped all over me? I know you may say that I am stupid, but my heart has no space for hate. My heart is that big, and I will not change that part of me no matter what people put me through. I understand that we are all human. No matter what I want to change about people sometimes, it is just in their nature. So why not just love? It is like family that only brings you down. No matter what, you carry that part of them. There is no escaping where you came from or the love that grows even when all they do is hurt you.

I’ve also had people that I loved so much pass away in the blink of an eye. I am guilty. I feel guilty. He left. He left, and I did not answer his messages. I’m sorry. I hope you know that I never meant that. I wish I was there for you. I wish you knew all the love I had for you. I wish I could tell you that I loved you on more time. I wish I could hold you. I did not get the chance to do this. To be there for my cousin when he decided that this life was too much for him. I never want to go through that again. I don’t ever want anybody’s family to go through that. I do not wish the pain I carry with me on anyone. I love, and I just love because that is what we need in this world. It is hard to love, I know.

Hate, it consumes you. It kills you. Hate produces nothingness. Hate is never the answer. Hate is the enemy. Hate can lead to a stagnant life… I have enough anger. I have enough anger within me. Please understand me. I am not perfect, but I try to be the best person I can be. Anger drives me to be a better person, believe it or not. But I do not hate because I am angry. I do not hate because I am hurt. I do not need hate in my heart. Hate is for the one that does not fathom, and I do. I must. I have given too much thought to my life to know that all I want is happiness for people. Happiness for me. That is all.

Words and promises. We speak, but do not intend to keep what is said. I am also a man of my word. (No, I am not a man. I simply feel that it sounds almost incorrect when said with woman.) When I promise to love forever, I mean it. Completely. I feel as though people speak out of their ass. They like to say, but always seem to contradict themselves when it does not benefit them or when they are unhappy. It is the sad though, but what we say now has lost a lot of value. It does not matter to people anymore. Voices are now sounds that go through frequencies that antennas do not reach.

“You're going to reap just what you sow”

A.G.